project A DOS® Server In a Virtual Machine

The WCs

The DOS toilet:

It's a usual, rural water closet with a narrow cubicle; there's a hole in a floor. It is simple to the limit in construction, but it may fall into a hole with a man, who's shittin', though, if he behaves abnormally. As a rule, you've got no chance to get out of here, being clean.

The DESQview toilet:

There's an enhanced hole and a cubicle there; that's why a several number of men can relieve their nature simultaneously in the single gap.

The Windows 3.11 toilet:

It's the same as the DESQview toilet, but it has another construction. There are a few holes in a floor; owing to this, several men are able to obtain relief. It's also rickety and unstable but the cord is bound to a roof, and if the toilet falls into a gap, a blue flag will be raised, notifying about this. And if someone, who is sitting in the closet, is going to throw a grenade into the hole, everybody will be in a crap then.

The Windows 95 toilet:

It's a beautiful, brick-red building which has Finnish lavatory seats of three kinds. Also, there is a comfortable system of cubicles' choosing, ability to throw a pan out of the building, if it crashes, other conveniences. But what is weird, if you try looking at the lavatory seat, there is that stinking fund at the bottom. While using, you're sluiced by a shit 1 of 5 times, at the average.

The Windows 98 toilet:

It looks approximately like the Windows 95 closet but the "user" is offered to read a magazine, while using it, or to listen to music. If he tries to execute all three doings at a time, the probability, that he'll be sluiced by a crap, will be 100%. And the probability to give your ration for the hell of it is reduced to 2 times per annum (if you visit the closet no more than 2 times per week).

The Windows ME toilet:

It looks like the Windows 98 toilet but you're sluiced by a shit when you visit it almost everytime. Tho' the stinking fund is used, it is concreted so that the obstruction could be cleaned by a crowbar, only. The stinking fund's contents, fairly often exploding, are placed in superstrong packets which are firmly glued down to a hole's bottom. If you may want to try to tear the packet off (e.g., the hole is full), the torn off packet and ten others burst, instantly.

The OS/2 toilet:

It is a toilet, made of concrete pipes. It's not so nice, and it's similar to a bomb shelter. As well as the previous closet, it has cubicles of three kinds but two of them has been made very awry; thereby, if somebody tries to sit down, the sharp thorns goes into the asses, forcing people to run out into the street with yells and pulled down pants. The seats, which are fit for this closet, have no problems, as a rule. I could not find a stinking fund under the building. There's a canalization, only; but where it goes, I dunno. I just have one question: wherefore does a mast stand near this building with a lowered flag?...

The Windows NT toilet:

It's a large metal building (resembles a safe). There's no free entrance, a big padlock hangs there. It is needed a massive foundation and heaps of time to build it. Nevertheless, it's quite reliable, and the only antitank mine, which is set amidmost off, may rock it a little bit. But even then, in some cases, it can work; for example, with the light, being turned off. The attitude to old buttholes is the same as in the OS/2 closet but it's more cruel: the not liked ass is cut off by a circ saw automatically and thrown out to a trash dump.

The Windows 2000 toilet:

On the outside it's similar to the Windows 98 toilet but if you entered inside, you would be in a tambour, setting against the door of the Windows NT closet. Having broken through inward, you will discover the interior of the Windows 98 closet but the buzz and neighbours' howl assures of delusiveness of being seen.

The Windows XP toilet:

It looks like the Windows 2000 toilet very, very much. But it's covered with different kinds of wallpapers and cutouts. The music, which's hardly turned off, plays around, everything flashes and is iridescent. You will be put an apron on and inserted a baby's dummy, sometimes not where it should be really. When there are some problems, the behaviour of the Windows XP toilet is identical to the Windows NT one but, also, the ass is sent to a developer for causation.

The UNIX toilet:

We did not use it, but in video, it is shown like somethin' very cool with small sizes, a powerful canalization and security system. We only know that it requires special butts because it is very haemorrhoidal to build annexes for it...

The GNU/Linux toilet:

On the booklets, it looks awesome. But when you buy it, it appears that the given product should be worked further on the end by you. When the installation is finished, it corresponds with a section with armored cubicles, where you're able to lift fences. But if they're lowered, you may even set off an antitank mine - your spread mortal remains won't prevent from the thoughtful groaning of the other users. They will not just notice it even.